Something in the Water?!!

So, fast forward several months and I am pregnant! planned? yes. excited? kinda, glowing? no not really, so here are my gripes, get a cuppa, a pack of biscuits and put your feet up (they're probably swollen!)

Maternity Clothes? - aka a way of further humiliating pregnant women during a low point in their strength, when they can't fight back. Jeans yuck, hello anyone heard of skinny jeans in this pregnant parallel universe? after one trip in the dreaded preggers clothes stores I am sworn off them, now luckily I can make my own but not everyone has my skills at their disposal, and for that I think they deserve a kind thought, or maybe a minute silence........ 9 minutes seems apt, a minute for each month they'll be wearing God awful threads and looking like a tent.

At the moment I'm at the in between stage, some clothes too tight, some cut off my circulation, some bare my bra (a lovely thick strapped white number last seen on Marilyn Monroes pregnant mother) and thankfully things that I bought in a baggier fit actually fit, although not quite so baggy!!

I only have a tiny bump but let me tell you, don't underestimate the power of the bump, for a stylish British hipster, this little baby paunch has vetoed 90% of my wardrobe choices and has me gasping at the mere thought of non natural fibres, literally my body starts melting.... I think it's actually trying to escape synthetic fibres one bead of sweat at a time.

As per usual, I cannot cut a long story short, so I'll save some of my grumbles (you say grumble, I say literary expression of angst) until the next maternity meltdowns..... mmmmh idea for a new blog methinks.

Smell ya later fellow fatties
xx